Being a Successful Employer When You Employ Your Own Carer (UK)

Employing your own carer through direct payments can be empowering — but it also means you are an employer, with responsibilities on top of your care needs. Getting a few key things right makes the difference between a stressful arrangement and one that genuinely supports your independence.

1. Remember: You Are the Employer (Even Though the Council Funds It)

Even though your local authority provides the money, you are legally the employer.

That means:

• You decide who you employ
• You set expectations for the role
• You are responsible for pay, contracts, and employment law

The council supports the funding, but they don’t manage the carer for you. Once you accept that reality, everything else makes more sense.

✅ Legal & Practical Basics to Get Right

Employment Essentials Checklist

Make sure you have:

• A written contract or statement of employment
• Clear job description (care tasks, household tasks, boundaries)
• Agreed working hours and breaks
• At least the National Minimum Wage (plus holiday pay)
• Employer’s liability insurance
• A payroll system (or payroll service)
• Right-to-work checks
• A basic health & safety approach in your home

Most councils will fund payroll, insurance, and HR support - use it. You’re not expected to do this alone.

2. Be Clear About the Role From the Start

Your home is their workplace, and that can blur lines.

Being a good employer means being clear but kind about what the job includes.

Things to be clear about early:

• What “personal care” means for you
• What household tasks are included (and what aren’t)
• How you like things done (routines, preferences, privacy)
• Boundaries around guests, phone use, and downtime

Clarity prevents resentment on both sides.

3. Communication Is Everything

Good working relationships live or die on communication.

Communication Checklist

• Explain your needs clearly- carers aren’t mind readers
• Encourage questions and feedback
• Address small issues early before they grow
• Be honest if something isn’t working
• Acknowledge when things are working well

You’re allowed to say, “This isn’t quite right for me” - that’s not being difficult, it’s being responsible.

4. Be Human - But Keep It Professional

You may spend a lot of time together. You might chat, laugh,and share parts of your life. That’s okay.

But you are still the employer.

Healthy Boundaries Checklist

• Keep pay, hours, and tasks professional
• Avoid lending money or becoming emotionally dependent
• Don’t tolerate behaviour that makes you uncomfortable
• Be friendly without feeling you owe personal favours
• Remember: kindness ≠ giving up boundaries

Boundaries protect both of you.

5. Respect Goes Both Ways

Being disabled does not mean you stop being in charge of your own care - and being a carer does not mean they have power over you.

A successful arrangement is based on mutual respect.

Respect in Practice

• Respect their time and contracted hours
• Pay on time, every time
• Give notice for changes where possible
• Expect respect for your body, home, and choices
• Do not accept disrespect, control, or manipulation

You show respect and you expect it.

6. Have a Plan for Things Going Wrong

Even good arrangements sometimes end.

Being prepared protects you.

Contingency Checklist

• Know how to handle sickness and absence
• Have backup support or agency cover arranged
• Understand notice periods (yours and theirs)
• Know who to contact for HR advice
• Keep basic records (hours worked, pay, issues)

Planning ahead reduces anxiety when something unexpected happens.

7. Use Support - You Are Not Meant to Do This Alone

You are disabled and an employer. That’s a lot.

Most people using direct payments are entitled to:

• Payroll services
• HR advice
• Insurance
• Recruitment help
• Training for being an employer

If you don’t have these, ask your council or support organisation. Needing help does not mean you’re failing - it means you’re doingthis properly.

In Short: What Makes You a “Good” Employer as a Disabled Person

A successful direct payments employer:

• • Understands they are the employer
  • Is clear, fair, and consistent
  • Communicates openly
  • Sets boundaries
  • Uses available support
  • Respects themselves as much as their carer

Employing your own carer is about control, dignity, and independence. Being a good employer isn’t about being “easy” or “nice” — it’s about creating a safe, respectful working relationship that meets your needs.